You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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