I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
