i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
