im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
