I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
