I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
