it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
