Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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