My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
