dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
