Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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