just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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