clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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