i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
