I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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