He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
