the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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