I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
