false alarm. still invincible.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
