the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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