I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
there is glitter all over my balls
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
