DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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