i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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