Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize