I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
