need another drink. this is the easiest way
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
