okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
