I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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