Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
