Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
