actually, I'm a sock model
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
