what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
