Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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