When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
