Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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