i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
