My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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