ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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