Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
