I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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