woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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