I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
