I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
