ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
