is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
