I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so let's talk penis.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
