It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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