Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
