i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
