Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
