i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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